No F-----g Excuses.

There is no pain. This is more than a mantra. It's a shield. It's shelter from the rain. Exhaustion, depression, stress, doubt, complacency, a pointless line of obstacles waiting to be pushed over like dominos. It starts as a chore, a task even bringing fear in some, and becomes as easy as breathing and almost as neccesarry. It will never betray you, never abandon you, and most importantly it's one of the only things in life that will give you exactly what you put into it. Start now. Don't look back. Don't ever stop. No Fucking Excuses.

Here I Stand

Here I stand two years later, in easily the worst physical shape of my life. Fortunately unemployment didn't last forever and ironically I've ended up in the same job I had at the beginning of my fitness odyssey. However, fatigue, bouts of depression, and physical pain have weathered me into a mere shell of my former self. The old workout crew is long gone along with a large part of my youthful enthusiam, but recently I've discovered a dim yet clearly visible light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Though very faint, the nagging voice of motivation has returned. A desire for change has begun to cut it's way into my until- very- recently nihilistic thought-stream. The aching in my back remains and my love affair with weightlifting has most likely ended for this life, but plenty of people have come back from worse. Over the past several weeks I've logged a few thousand pushups and have cut a tremendous amount of calories.  Back pain won't prevent me from maintaining a healthy diet and keeping up a steady regimen of cardio and calisthenics. I feel the dormant beast of addiction waking from it's hibernation. I will take my body back.

Two Years Ago.

Two years ago, I was as solid as a rock. Pulling off a minimum of a thousand pushups and six days of heavy weight lifting a week, I felt unstoppable. I'd begun my fitness oddyssey a few years prior, going from zero physical activity to a perfect combination of cardio, resistance activities, and healthy eating that resulted in the kind of physique and energy level that I never could've imagined. I never slowed down. I never got tired. Everyday I hungered for more. New challenges, new methods, more weight, I was an addict and the high just got better and better. I was 26 and in great shape. I only had one problem; I was making no money. I soon left the comfort zone of my enjoyable yet not so lucrative job, to accept higher paying work an hour's drive away. The long hours and road-time soon began affecting my workouts. Six workouts a week became five. Five became 4. Four became 3 and so on until all that remained of my motivation was a nagging voice in my head. My eating habits tanked. I was so exhausted, that on my rare days off, the gym was the last thing on my mind. I had alot going against me, but deep inside I knew that I'd be back in the swing of things before very long. However, I'd soon experience a major setback in the form of an on the job injury. One afternoon while lifting a piece of heavy cable, I'd snatched too suddenly and felt an excruciating pull in my lower back. Like any other hard headed genius, I ignored the pain. Life went on. I worked and laughed and loved letting the injury and my fitness take a back seat. Soon I'd be unemployed, unmotivated, and nearly 40 pounds overweight.